3 Things I Like About Difficult People

11 Sep

When I was a project manager I often picked my own team.  After a few projects a member of my core group said that he didn’t understand why I always picked Peter (not his real name) since he was such a testy person, negative a lot of the time and a bit of a wet blanket.

I responded that I was very aware of Peter’s traits and surprisingly it was exactly those traits that I liked about him.  He was a contrarian.  He seemed to take the opposite view to the rest of us and more often than not there was something very important in what he had to say.  Peter looked at the world differently and saw risks and issues that the rest of us often overlooked.  If we didn’t have Peter, or someone like him, our risk management would have been less effective, impacting on the success of the project.  If all the people on the team were the same it would be a real problem.   We would be far too optimistic and become vulnerable to unforseen events. 
Peter represented everything I like about difficult people.  All organisations need to have diversity of opinion and this often comes from difficult people. 

So here are my 3 main Likes:

1. They speak their mind
They have a healthy dose of self-esteem and are confident in their views.  They share them even in the most awkward moments and are not bound by group think.  Their views can be challenging and at times confronting.  I have learned over the years to savour the moments where I am uncomfortable about what someone has said because; there are truths in those words that I have not fully processed. For that alone I am thankful.

2. They help manage risk
The contrarian helps us manage the risks we fail to perceive.  They see problems we often gloss over at our peril. If you are an optimist, like me, you tend to put too much store in the concept of an unencumbered path to the goal.  The difficult person can help us put things in place in the event that something goes wrong.  It doesn’t mean to say that everything that is thrown up as a risk or a problem carries equal weight.  It means they are all addressed and considered.  These people have great ability to follow through the unintended consequences of our actions.  It is often the unintended consequences that bring a great idea down.  This skill, to see what may follow on from what we have done, is special and many of us do not have this. 

3. I learn more
The mental models that contrarians have are quite different to mine.  Their type of thinking opens up new ideas and opportunities I could not have perceived if they had not shared their thoughts and concerns.  I have learnt to build processes to minimize the likelihood of problems occurring and to mitigate their impact.  I have learnt how to drive change by moving away from fear which is a more significant emotional driver in many people.  And most importantly, I have learnt more about who I am, my weaknesses and how best to deal with them.
The next time you have a difficult person in your group be thankful and treasure their contribution.  They just may make you a better person if not a better manager.